2018 AMRI Scholarship Program by Jamie V. Zebell

Author: Jamie V. Zebell

School: Marian University

Area of Study: Accelerated BSN in Nursing

Introduction

One night in October 2009, I woke up to my significant other, Calvin, violently thrashing about our bed. He was unresponsive as I called his name, and while he had never done this before, and I had never actually seen this before, I knew he was having a seizure. I immediately got him on his side as I dialed 911. When the ambulance team arrived, Calvin was still lying in bed, coherent, but completely unaware of what had just happened. All he knew was that there were men trying to take him away from his house while he was just trying to go back to sleep. He could feel sores on his tongue and see blood on his pillow, but since he did not know how these things happened, he was not about to let any stranger touch him or take him from his bed. In that moment, there was no explanation any of us could give him that would make him calm down enough to allow the team to attend to him or run any tests. He denied their help, and that night truly began my desire to work in medicine in some capacity. 

A 3-Year Roller Coaster Ride

That evening was a blur, as were several other evenings over the course of the next three years. Calvin only had seizures in his sleep, so I was the only one who knew what actually happened to him. It was two months until he had another seizure, but then he had two within one week, and our roller coaster ride of multiple seizures in one week to one a month, and then four in a day, began. I knew how stubborn my man was, but I also knew how much he trusted me. He was scared of doctors, and scared to know the truth, but if I asked him to do something for me, he would. At that point, I made it my job to educate myself as much as I could on seizure disorders, and to take copious notes every time he had one. My notes covered what he ate and drank the previous day, to how long the seizures lasted and anything that happened immediately prior to or after the episode.

Eventually, I began to learn some of the triggers for his seizures, and also some coping mechanisms for him, but I also knew, I was not a doctor, and I could only do so much. One day over a year after that first seizure, he had 4 seizures in one day, and I finally called an ambulance, even though I knew he would be mad at me, because I knew this was beyond me and if I did not call, he might die. At the hospital they had to restrain him because he was so defiant. While he could guess that he was there because of seizures, he did not understand the magnitude of what had happened to him that day, and he just wanted to go home. Once they finally let me into the room, while he started off being just as belligerent with me as he was with all the Emergency Department (ED) staff, within a few minutes of my “tough love” he was calm and allowed nurses to do what they needed to do. Once he was sedated, the doctor stopped me in the hallway, and said, “I don’t know how you did it, but you worked magic in there.”

A Gift for Calming & Nurturing Others

Throughout my life I have been told I have a gift for being a calmer and being a teacher. While it has taken me a long road to get here, I believe those two traits will make me a phenomenal nurse. In education, we tell new teachers to be no nonsense nurturers, and I believe that is something I can carryover into nursing as well. As a teacher, one needs to understand what their students bring to the classroom, and how that may affect their performance. At the same time however, that understanding helps drive how you support them, but does not become an excuse to giving short cuts or giving up on students. As a nurse, one needs to be caring and compassionate and understand the frustration of their patients, but nurses also have to give tough love, and be confident in their abilities to support the decisions doctors make in order to do what is best for the patient.

Growing Passion for Neurology

Even though I am no longer with Calvin, because of him I realized my passion for nursing, and particularly in the specialty area of neurology.  It was painful and terrifying to be the only person who knew what was happening to him, but it was just as painful to watch how scared he was not knowing what was happening to him. Thankfully, after that last hospital visit, we found a neurologist that was patient enough to deal with Calvin’s fears and frustration, and who took the time to listen to me and walk through my notes, and he switched Calvin’s medication to something that rather than having up to 7 seizures a week, led him to being seizure-free for over a year.

A Courageous Leap from Education to Nursing

Those three years of unknowns and multiple ED visits culminated in a new found appreciation for the magnificent capabilities and dysfunctions of our brains. To watch Calvin go through what he did, and to know that there was medicine that could help bring him back to a more normal life, I could not help but want to be a part of the process in helping others in situations similar to his. While I had a desire to make the switch to nursing, I was fearful about whether or not I could actually do it. Many naysayers told me it would be too hard for an English teacher to learn science and go back to school, so I hesitated for three more years until I realized that knowledge could be learned, and my soft skills were the ones that were inherent and could not be taught.

Developing Life-Saving Skills

With that being said, one of the stepping-stones to beginning that transition was to become CPR certified. However, I quickly realized that while basic CPR training was good to have, it was not sufficient for becoming a nurse. So I became BLS certified as well, and eventually I hope to become ACLS certified. I believe those ACLS skills are the foundation to a strong nursing career. Whether as a civilian or a nurse, these foundational skills have me more prepared and confident than others to help in an emergency situation. Lives are saved every day in hospitals through surgeries and the administering of medication, but I believe ACLS skills are those that save lives long enough in order to get patients to the operation table or under the care of a doctor.  They are the skills that have saved my father’s life after a heart attack, and my friend’s life after a car accident. They have begun to set the stage for the newest journey I am about to begin at Marian University.

A Promising Career: Where I See Myself in 5, 10, and 15 Years

Although, I am embarking on this career later in life, that does not mean I do not have goals for the longevity of it. I am enrolled in an accelerated nursing program, so within five years, I expect to be an ED nurse in an urban setting. I work well under pressure, and I believe that in order to be the most versatile and knowledgeable nurse I can be, I need exposure to as many different situations as possible. I can certainly gain that versatility by being an ED nurse anywhere, but in an urban setting the ED is likely to be more fast-paced and be a location where, if unfortunately a larger catastrophe occurs, victims will be sent.

Once I gain all of that knowledge and experience, I know at some point I will like to slow down and have more consistency. I believe within 10 years, I will be certified in a specialty, likely neurology or oncology, and still working in a hospital in that department. For the past year I have volunteered in a hospital doing a program called Hand-in-Hand where I gave patients and their family members hand massages, most often on the neurology and oncology floors. While I could have gone to other departments, I constantly found myself drawn back to these two departments. The very first room I walked into on my first day was that of a young man in his twenties who had electrode patches all over his head. He was full of smiles and sunshine, and as we began to visit, he shared with me that he was there because the previous day he had four seizures at his grandmother’s house, and he finally decided it was time for him to let them to figure out what was wrong with him. A flood of emotion swirled within me as I was taken back to a hospital room with Calvin several years earlier. If this young man was not a sign that I have chosen the right path, I am not sure what a better sign could be.

I believe being on this path, and finding a specialty area will eventually lead me back to my roots as an educator. Within fifteen years, I see myself in a leadership role supporting new nurses. Whether in a hospital as a director or in a college classroom, I want my gifts of being that calming force and a teacher to come full circle. While I have yet to even earn my first nursing degree, I toy with the idea of whether or not I would further my education and get another degree beyond my BSN. I would like to think I will be done with schooling and will be satisfied in my career with a Bachelors in Nursing, however, I know myself, and considering I already have three degrees in Education, furthering my education in nursing is not out of the question. If I would decide to further pursue my education in nursing, outside of a specialty area certification, I believe I would want to become a Nurse Anesthetist (CRNA). My grandmother became a CRNA late in her career, and I would love to honor her memory by continuing on the same path. In order to feel confident in my skills and abilities as a nurse, I believe that pursuit of this degree would come at least 10 years from now, but likely closer to fifteen. At the point in which I would transition into a leadership or classroom role, it would make sense to me that I may also look at furthering my own education at that time.

Regardless of where my degree leads me, I know I have chosen the right path for my future. Often times as adults we are deterred from making drastic career changes for a variety of factors, but I firmly believe that if someone is passionate and driven, they should not let anyone or anything deter them from a well thought out decision. It has taken me three years to apply to a program, but I also believe that was because I needed to realize which program was right for me. It is not the cheapest one, but I believe it is the best one. This scholarship would be one more piece in helping me realize my dream at an older age, and for me it would be a way to honor those in my life who have gone through struggles in order for me to find my heart’s desire. As a nurse I will be able to contribute so much more to so many more people than those close to me, and I would be forever grateful to be afforded that opportunity through monetary support now, so that I can pay it forward once I begin my career. I appreciate the skills and training the American Medical Resource Institute offers, and I would be fortunate to be a recipient of this scholarship and a proud advocate for the Institute and the resources it provides to the medical community.