2017 AMRI SCHOLARSHIP PROGRAM ESSAY BY SAMANTHA BETH SOUTHWORTH
Author: Samantha Beth Southworth
School: University of Michigan School of Nursing
Area of Study: Acute Care Pediatric Nurse Practitioner Master’s Program
Since I was a little girl, like so many medical professionals, I knew I was going to be a doctor when I grew up. During my toddler and school-aged years, I dressed up as a doctor, I loved when my sisters were sick so I could care for them, I held my classmate’s hands on the playground when they were hurt and constantly had so much compassion for anyone feeling slightly under the weather. As I entered middle school and made my way through high school, I talked about going to medical school and that I wanted to be a brain surgeon. I took advanced classes, studied more than necessary and dreamed of being a doctor one day. I worked extremely hard in high school to achieve the highest grades, and I was involved in multiple extracurricular activities so I could be admitted to a great college and eventually go to medical school. Reflecting on these years, especially high school, I lived and breathed the desire to go to medical school and become a doctor.
I was admitted to the University of Michigan, which is one of the best universities nationwide for pre-medical studies for undergraduates. I worked harder than I ever have to achieve high grades in my science courses my freshman year because there was nothing going to stop me from reaching my one and only dream career, or so I thought. Seven days before examination week of winter semester my freshman year of college I was studying vigorously for a chemistry exam. That afternoon, in the middle of a busy college library, I looked up from my studies to see my mother approaching. Her face told it all; someone was dead or seriously injured. I had seen that face two times in the past four years and both times that face lead to finding out a best friend had been killed. I stood there frozen. I was already too fragile and terrified to move and when she approached her words delivered a devastating blow. Dustin, my long-term boyfriend and now fiancé, was in a serious motorcycle accident. Her mouth continued to move but I did not comprehend anything that she was saying. Interrupting her, I blurted out, “Is he alive?” By the grace of God, my mother answered a glorious yes. During the hour drive to the hospital I was told that his condition was very serious and they were not sure if I would make it there in time.
When I ran into the emergency department (ED) I was immediately taken back to see him by an ED nurse. I was an emotional wreck and crying uncontrollably until the nurse, who I can still hear clearly today, stopped me, looked me straight in the eyes and told me to I needed to compose myself because me crying and carrying on was not going to help the situation. That nurse’s intense and direct words was all it took for me to compose myself in order to walk into the scariest situation I have ever been in.
I tell this story briefly to paint a picture of my background. I was a 19-year-old girl, and had worked my entire life to become a doctor in a prestigious hospital. At that moment, I was all of a sudden thrown into the middle of a hospital trauma where I experienced firsthand what nurses and doctors do. At that point in my life there was no other career in the world besides becoming a doctor. Although the first few days were very critical my fiancé was eventually stable enough to be transferred to an ortho/trauma inpatient floor and this is where my story begins.
From the moment I walked into that hospital I became his instant caregiver. I knew every detail of his care including every medication, lab results, surgery and when he needed to be repositioned. As I naturally took on this role I became his nurses’ assistants and was helping with every part of nursing care that I could. His nurses, two of our favorite nurses in particular, encouraged me to look into nursing because I had the heart and personality of a nurse. I easily brushed these comments off at first because, I of course was going to be a doctor.
As the days slowly went on, my heart and eyes opened to the world of nursing and the differences in nurses’ and doctors’ patient interaction. I saw the nurses who spent time cleaning his wounds multiple times daily, who quickly reacted when his conditioned changed, who stood at this bedside doing everything they could while he screamed in pain, and who encouraged him to fight for his health with every ounce of strength he had. I also saw nurses who stood at the bedside and acknowledged a 22-year-old man’s fears that his life as he knew it was over, who helped us laugh during some of our hardest days, who gave hugs when they were needed and stern advice when our minds were so clouded. It was all of these things and so many more that I saw our nurses doing that made me instantly respect the nursing profession and be inspired by these amazing people. This horrific time was almost 9 years ago and still to this day I proudly say that the surgeons saved my fiancé’s broken bones but it was the nurses who saved his life and allowed this situation to be a positive story today.
I never knew what nursing really was until I spent that long summer in the hospital. I did not make the decision right away to become a nurse but my experiences with those amazing nurses are what ultimately allowed me to make one of the best decisions in my life. The nurses we encountered were kind, thoughtful, dependable, capable of listening and willing to talk about things other than just our hospital stay. They cried with us, were there when no one else was, they became part of our family, and ultimately they inspired me to become a nurse. These nurses did not know that their actions spoke so loudly within my heart and mind. Their passion and kind-hearted care showed me that I was meant to be a nurse and I was going to have the same effect on patients and families as they did on me. Once I made the decision a year later to change my career path to nursing I never looked back. I have been beyond satisfied and grateful that I made that decision and absolutely love being a nurse. I carry this experience with me every day and proudly let the effects those nurses imprinted on me shine through to the care I provide patients and families.
Today, I have been a registered nurse for almost three years. I am currently enrolled in the Acute Care Pediatric Nurse Practitioner (ACP-NP) master's program at the University of Michigan. I love working with the inpatient population and welcome the challenge of caring for the most unstable patients. Being PALS certified is a tremendously beneficial skill I carry with me daily as a registered nurse (RN) on a pediatric bone marrow transplant (BMT) and hematological/oncological (hem/onc) inpatient unit, and it will aid me in my daily work as an ACP-NP in the future. Having my PALS certification can take me many places in the acute care setting but most importantly it can confidently take me to the bedside of a critically ill child who is in need of life saving care. Emergencies can occur at anytime, anywhere, and being prepared is something that most people should exemplify especially pediatric health care providers. I, luckily, work at an institution that has a highly skilled and experienced code team that will come running to the patient’s bedside immediately when called upon. However, in an emergency situation there is not always precious moments to wait for help to arrive and during those times I may be the only thing standing between a child living and dying. Having these lifesaving skills is crucial as a registered nurse and can help save so many precious lives.
Within the next two years I will be a licensed ACP-NP and my goal is to continue working with the pediatric hem/onc and BMT population. Since I started this first job I fell in love with the hem/onc and BMT population immediately and my passion for this field grows daily. This population is a constant challenge, a never ending learning experience and brings so many valuable relationships. I absolutely love working at the bedside with patients and families, but am also looking forward to moving into a provider role and being able to directly create and manage treatment plans.
In 5 years, it is my goal to be working on the same inpatient unit that I currently work on but as an ACP-NP. I predict that in 5 years I will be feeling comfortable in my position and constantly learning and growing as a professional. I want to better understand my patient’s diagnosis at a cellular level, be more familiar with chemotherapy protocols and be able to treat effectively complications of chemotherapy and transplant. I intend to be an active member of the American Association of Nurse Practitioners as well.
Within 10 years, I imagine myself still working for the same service but being more of an expert instead of a novice, having more of a leadership role and being an important and reliable co-worker. I will feel very confident with my medical knowledge for the patient population and how to safely manage critically ill and unstable oncology patients. I really enjoy teaching and it is my goal to be a preceptor to nurse practitioner students and orienting new hires. I will also be a clinical instructor for students which has been a lifelong career goal of mine. I will also be actively enrolled in a doctorate of nursing practice program. With my doctorate degree, I aim to be more involved in policies and procedures within my unit and on a larger scale.
In 15 years, my goal is to still be very involved with patient care but also investing more of my time and energy into pediatric oncology research. Specifically, I would like to do research on managing and preventing graft versus host disease in BMT patients. I also aim to focus on researching the benefits of palliative care in the pediatric oncology population, and be actively involved with the palliative care team at the institution I am employed at. Within 15 years, I will be a strong, knowledgeable colleague that functions well within the team I work for, and a great mentor and resource for all of my co-workers.
Today, my heart, time and energy is completely invested in pediatric hem/onc and BMT but my goal throughout my career is to always love what I do. If I find that I do not love what I am doing I want to seek out new educational opportunities, patient populations and challenges that will keep me happy in my career. My goal is to always, no matter what, act as a nurse first and never lose sight of all the steps that brought me to today.
I am so thankful for every opportunity I have encountered in my life because without every moment, whether good or bad, I would not be standing where I am today. The ortho/trauma nurses went to work every day, but what they did during their shifts was more than what was on their job description. Without the compassionate and dedicated care we received from all those nurses I may have never seen a firsthand experience of what nursing is really all about. As a nurse, I respect my critical care education and am dedicated to always being informed on the newest education so when I am the person standing between a child’s life and death I will succeed. I provided a brief description of my future career goals but have so many more educational and career goal. I know as I move further into my career, my goals and drive to reach those goals will deepen and I look forward to spending my career in one of the greatest professions.
Thank you for your time and careful consideration of my scholarship application. This scholarship will help ease the financial burden of school and allow me to focus on my studies instead of working an increased amount of hours in order to pay for school. The American Medical Resource Institution is such a phenomenal medical training program and has helped so many selfless Americans further their education within the healthcare field. I have and will continue to dedicate my life to healthcare and the nursing profession, and would be greatly honored to be a recipient of an American Medical Resource Institution scholarship.